The Threequel to: Car Trouble in Port Royal
by alissaduke88
Summary: “Bloody ‘ell! I’m Captain Jack Sparrow, what in the! Bugger! Don’t be touching me there! Watch the goods!” as funny as it was to watch Jack Sparrow get what he deserves I decided to try and get them out of here to explain the situation.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: DOPOTC! Aka Don't Own Pirates Of The Caribbean!

A/N!

Hello everyone! It's finally here! The first chapter of the third story in my series Car Trouble in Port Royal.

I do recommend that you read at least _The Sequel to: Car Trouble in Port Royal, _Prior to this story. The first story is not necessary, but it would help clear some things up. Well without any further ado here is Chapter One!

End A/N!

Chapter One: Driving Mr. Sparrow and Souvenirs

I was driving down a busy main road in San Diego heading to my little flat after leaving William and Jack back in their POTC world. I couldn't wait to get home to watch my Pirate movie to see what damage had been done.

I realized how long it had been since I took a decent shower. I certainly didn't want to arrive home to greet my landlady with a very pungent smell. Rummaging around in my bag I found my body mist. Rolling the window down a bit I began to spray myself with the sweet smelling perfume.

"Achooblthtbbb!" the sound was so prominent in my car that I swerved a little into the oncoming lane. Righting the car I pulled into a nearby parking lot. The first one I came across. It was a Mexican meat market filled with people doing there shopping. Parking I jumped out of my car as fast as I could, heart racing in my chest.

"Who ever you are show yourself!" I said through the window to the back seat. I watched as a blanket moved to reveal a very sheepish looking William Turner. My mouth opened in awe, "WILLIAM! WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?!" I bellowed at him. He righted himself up and opened the door to step out of the car, giving me an impish smile the whole time.

"Hello Liss, sorry to give you a start." William confided. Although it had only been 300 years and an two hours since I said my goodbyes I gave him a huge hug, once pulling away I smacked him on the arm.

"What are you doing here! Do you know what you've done? Not only do I have to fix this bloody mess with the movie I-" I began to rant but I notice William trying to say something.

"This was all Jack's idea." William said trying to defend himself. I looked at him quizzically.

"Jack?" I questioned, I couldn't believe what I was hearing. It was Jack's idea for Will to hide in my car and come to the future with me. Right, I wasn't born yesterday dear William. If it was indeed Jack's idea he would be here also…bugger.

"Aye, now if ye be lettin' me ou' o' this god forsaken monstrosity!" I heard Jack's muffled cries as he began to pound on the trunk door. Quickly grabbing the keys I dashed to the trunk to open the compartment. Out jumped a very unhappy Captain Jack Sparrow.

Please, picture this. We are in a MEXICAN market with lots of MEXICANS watching this happen. I just let a very tan, dark haired man out of my TRUNK. About TWENTY minutes from the BORDER of MEXICO. Yea, that's what they thought too.

"Jack?" I exclaimed watching him straighten himself and look at me as if I had the plague, "What are you looking at?" I said a little annoyed.

"Ye aren't as pretty as I remember ye." Jack said. I couldn't believe what I was hearing.

WHAM! Direct hit to Jack's shin. My booted foot was a little sore but I didn't mind as Jack and I began to hop up and down together drawing plenty of stares from the crowd.

This really couldn't get any worse. Of course, karma is never done screwing me over.

"Excuse me…Excuse me! Miss!" I heard over the repeated 'ow's' of me and Jack. I stopped hopping and looked about for the source of the voice. I peered down and there was a girl about the age of fifteen staring straight up at me.

"Yes?" I said a bit confused. Her face turned to one of excitement as she yelled to some people who seemed to be waiting for her signal. Soon about ten zit infested mountain dew drinking don't wear enough clothes because 'daddy never hugged me' teenagers were swarming me.

"You are Alissa from the freaky Pirates of the Caribbean movie!" she exclaimed seeming to try and convince me. My heart started to pound. Not good.

"No! I just look like her, but yea, those movies…weird huh." I said obviously nervous. They didn't look as convinced as I had hoped they would. Jack decided this was very interesting and wanted to join in the festivities.

"Aye, and I just so happen to be-" Jack began but the girl mob finished his sentence for him…incorrectly.

"JOHNNY DEPP?" there were a thousand little 'oh my god's' before they rushed him.

"Bloody 'ell! I'm Captain Jack Sparrow, what in the! Bugger! Don't be touching me there! Watch the goods!" as funny as it was to watch Jack Sparrow get what he deserves I decided to try and get them out of here to explain the situation.

I ushered William in to the car closing it and locking the door. I then decided to use him as a lure. I tried to shout over the gossipy girls.

"Look! Orlando Bloom is here too! Look he's just in the car!" I cried out pointing. Well, that started a chain reaction. All the girls tried to claw at the glass to get to poor William who looked frightened and I snuck Jack in the opposite side.

Crawling over his lap in the process to reach the drivers seat, Jack took every opportunity to touch MY goods. Smacking his hand away I sat down. The girls were still screaming and trying to claw their way into my car. I turned the car on and rolled down the window a little.

"Please! Move! I don't want to hit any of you." reluctantly they obliged and I pulled off to the main road once again to try and get the hell out of here. Looking in my rearview mirror I saw the channel 10 news truck pull into the market. I knew this was not going to be fun.

"What in the bloody hell was that?!" Jack said confused, "I only get treated like that in Tortuga." I guess after the shock wore off, he rather enjoyed the experience.

"Liss, why were those girls calling us Johnny, and Orlando." William questioned.

"Good question Will, one I will explain in detail when we get to my house." I replied. I told the boys to put on their seatbelts so I wouldn't get pulled over. It took Jack a while to figure it out, and once it was on he became distressed.

"Bloody thing! It's crushin' me lass!" Jack whined tugging at it harshly only making it tighten its grip.

"Jack, just look out the window, it will calm your nerves." I said as Jack did what he was told. It was probably a bad idea to have Jack see what was going on outside of the car.

"Bloody hell lass! Look out for that huge one! It's coming right at us!" Jack said motioning to a semi that was making a right turn as we waited to make a left, "Where are the bloody cannons on this thing? Don't ye even have a sail for extra speed? What kind of future is this! If we die this is all on your head for not having cannons!"

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Arriving at my humble abode I noticed a very familiar car in my drive way. Not that of my landlady who is almost always gone on business due to the nature of her job, but that of a friendlier face. I saw the door to my level of the house creek open to reveal my best friend Josie. She squealed waving her hands frantically in the air. I did the same.

"Liss! You are back!" Josie said excitedly.

"Josie! You're in my house." I said in excitement that turned to confusion.

"Yea, Cameron let me in before she left for China." Josie explained.

"China, did she say how long?" I questioned. Josie shook her head no. I shrugged. William stepped gracefully out of the car and stood by my side. Josie's face turned to shock. I looked sheepishly at her as if I had just been caught with my hand in the cookie jar. I heard small curses coming from behind me.

"Bloody machine! Lass! It be tryin' to eat me!" Jack exclaimed yanking on his seatbelt trying to get free. I sighed and turned around opening the door and pressing the button to make the belt zip back to place by the door. Jack looked at me like I was some sort of witch.

"I know, I know, I'm a 'bloody enchantress'." I said throwing my hands in the air and walking up to my flat.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Standing in my living room I tried to explain it one more time.

"Josie, this is, Jack Sparrow, NOT, Johnny Depp. And, this is, William Turner, NOT, Orlando Bloom." I said getting tired. Josie looked at me still confused. I sighed and collapsed on the couch. William and Jack were already sitting down in my living room, Jack with his feet comfortably situated on the coffee table.

"You are telling me, you really went into the past, and brought back two pirates, who just so happen to look EXACTLY like Johnny and Orlando?" Josie asked quirking an eyebrow at me.

"Yes!" I said excited she finally understood.

"Well, If you say so." Josie said finally giving into my idea, "So you brought back two pirates for yourself. What souvenir did you bring back for me?" Josie questioned. I rolled my eyes, just like her to think of a souvenir at a time like this.

"I think it's time we watch that movie." I said to Josie. She looked at me dumbfounded.

"What movie?" Jack questioned looking at me quizzically, "What the bloody hell is a movie?! What in the bloody hell is THAT!" Jack said pointing to my television, "What in the bloody hell is THAT!" Jack said pointing to my Bose clock radio, "And I would really like to know what is THAT!" Jack said pointing to my bikini hanging in the laundry room just in our line of sight. I sighed again.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"So Liss, what you are saying is that there are actors who look just like us, who played us in a 'movie', and are famous all over the world here?" William asked. I nodded my head, these guys were a little more believing of what I was saying. I guess being chased by an undead monkey does that to people.

"Yer ou' o' yer bloody mind!" Jack said skeptically, "How can they be us, when we are us?" Jack asked quirking an eyebrow. Josie was very happy to watch William and ignore everything that was coming out of our mouths. I sighed once more, and shrugged.

"I'm not sure Jack, can we just watch this movie, I want to see what kind of trouble I got myself into." I replied. All three nodded and I got up to put in the DVD.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Oh, my, god." I said slowly mouth open. There I was on the television…on the docks with Jack, offering to the Commodore my body. My face turned hot as the other three looked at me.

As the movie progressed I realized that the length of the movie was all the same and that some scenes with me were cut out. Except me smashing in the face of the brute in the cell next to me. All three looked at me again.

I covered my face while I watched the scene where I kissed Jack in our cell. The movie progressed and I only became more and more embarrassed. I dreaded the scene with William in Jack's cabin.

I watched as the movie followed my little adventure in Tortuga. Jenkins, the brute trying to get with me, and flirting openly with Jack about the night in the bath house.

There it was, William pulling me into Jack's cabin, there we were kissing on the bed, there he was removing my clothing. Cut scene. Oh thank god. Jack in the storm, I was so elated that the entire world didn't see me in my skivvies that I forgot about the second part of that night.

Cut scene, Jack walked in on me standing in my underwear. The whole scene was played out. Every last bit. I was shocked, and the look on Williams face was a mixture of surprise and anger. I prayed that nothing else controversial would be shown. It's a Disney movie for crying out loud.

The entire movie played out like it normally would. I actually had to laugh at some of the scenes and behaviors of myself. But it was still the dark fact that this was shown all over the world and I was now in the publics eye, again. I really had no idea what I was going to do.

"So what are you going to do?" Josie asked as the final scene played out, which was Jack and William crawling into my car. I gave them knowing glances. Jack's face conveyed someone who didn't give a hoot if I was upset with him or not.

"What was that Liss?" William asked nodding to the movie screen. I looked at him wishing he hadn't asked.

"That was us, and unfortunately every single person in this bloody world has seen it by now." I replied feeling my stomach sink.

"First things first, I have to get these two back to their time, world, alternate universe whatever it is." I said. Both looked at me scared, and I guess Josie didn't like the idea of the eye candy going anywhere.

"Now wait a second lass. This be our problem too. All these people have seen a side of Captain Jack Sparrow that I don't like showin' often." Jack said trying to convince me. I shook my head.

"No dice Jack, you guys have to go back, this is my problem." I replied, "I will take you tomorrow how does that sound? For now, I want to take a shower and eat something that actually meets health code standards." I walked into my kitchen to rummage in the fridge. The minute I opened the door the smell hit me.

"GAG! NO WAY!" I said looking at what I thought was food. Apparently if you leave perishable health food in the fridge for a month it actually begins to grow mold and other organisms. Before closing the fridge I thought I saw a package of tofu crawl across to the other side, "I guess we are ordering in." I said reaching for some take out menus and the phone.

I ordered pizza, pasta, and salad. Josie went out for beer as I showed Jack and William how to use my shower. Being the proper hostess I am I let William go first, while Jack and I sat in the living room.

"So there be any one watchin' us now?" Jack questioned looking around skeptically. I shook my head no. I was really starting to look forward to that shower. Jack scooted closer to me on the couch. I looked over at him. He gave me a very foxy look before touching my arm.

"So we can say that goodbye now." Jack said caressing me. I quirked my eyebrow at him. Just like Jack, looking to hook up even in the future. I laughed in his face, realizing that he didn't find this funny I quickly covered my mouth.

"Jack, listen, I would love to, but you know, I would like to be clean first." I said this slowly so he would understand.

"Ye look clean to me." Jack rebutted, I couldn't help giggling on the inside. Of course I would to a pirate! Jack leaned in to kiss my neck, of course I let him, I wasn't about to pass up this opportunity. Jack wrapped his arms around me and began caressing my back and shoulders. I was really beginning to think about his offer, when the door bell rang.

"Bloody 'ell." Jack said looking up at me from my neck. I giggled as I got up grabbing my purse and walking to the door. Looking down rummaging in my purse I opened the door to hand the money to the pizza boy. Only what greeted me was not a twenty year old delivery boy, but about five cameras pointing straight into my face.

My mouth fell open as the lights were being shined on me, and into my house. I could hear the jumble of voices shouting questions at me. I opened my mouth, and unceremoniously slammed the door in their faces.

Now was the time I had to think about who knew where I lived. Josie, my landlady, and…oh no. This couldn't be happening. Karma really does hate me.

"Lass, what was all tha' about?" Jack questioned. I just realized he had been behind me when I opened the door. Not good.

"Those are called news people. Scum of hell, bottom feeders. They live for other peoples pain and misery." I said. There was a knock on the door. I ignored it. Noticing my front window blinds were open, I crept along across the wall to reach the shutter. The news people were taking advantage of the open blinds for a perfect shot of my neat and obsessively clean house. Of course, before I could close the damn blinds who should walk into the room in neigh but his breeches?

"WILLIAM! GET DOWN!" I yelled, Will jumped at this but it was too late, they had gotten their shot. I flicked the blinds closed and sighed in relief.

Another knock came at the door. I peered through the peep hole. My sight was met with a very confused pizza boy. I creaked the door open only wide enough for me to push the money through the door. He had to turn the pizza sideways to get it in, after the food was safely on this side of the door I told him to keep the change. I had given him a fifty for a thirty dollar tab. But I didn't want to risk having the door open any longer than I had to.

I set the food down on my dinning room table and slumped down into one of my chairs. I put my head in my hands and let out the biggest sigh I have ever released in my entire life. William got a very confused look on his face and came and sat opposite me. Jack began to pace, of course, he's a pirate captain it's what they do best.

"Liss, what is going on here?" Will asked me placing a hand on my knee. I looked up at him.

"OH, you know the usual. I was sent into the Pirates of the Caribbean world, had both main characters fall in love with me, had all of my life there broadcasted back here, then when I get here my ex-boyfriend decides to sell my location to the news!" I moaned obviously not happy about this whole thing.

"Whawassat?" Jack said very fast, I hardly caught what he said. I gave him a quizzical look as if asking him to say it again.

"What did ye say lass? About, a boyfriend?" Jack wasn't familiar with the word, but he's a smart guy and pretty much figured out what a boyfriend is.

"My ex-bonny lad. The guy before you. His name is Jason." I said waving my hand in the air like it wasn't of much importance. At this Jack looked a bit frantic, he fumbled with his pistol and waved it about.

"Where is he?" Jack yelled sounding a bit too sober for my liking.

I was about to open my mouth to try and calm Jack when there were muffled cries of protest at the door. Jack pointed the gun at the door as if the cries were emanating from the door itself, soon it flew open to reveal a very unhappy Josie.

Slamming the door behind her she sighed as she set the bags on the floor. Looking up she became frantic once more as Jack was pointing the pistol right at her. Jack lowered the gun and looked at her as if she was the luckiest sod in the world.

"Liss, why are there about ten news casters on your front lawn?" Josie asked still shaking the image of a gun pointed at her head from her mind. My ears perked up at this.

"THEY ARE ON THE LAWN? CAMERON IS GOING TO KILL ME IF HER BEGONIAS GET SMOOSHED!" I yelled running to the door I flung it open. Indeed they were on the lawn, luckily the begonias were okay. Of course now they were frivolously snapping pictures of me and shouting out questions.

"GET OFF MY LAWN BEFORE I CALL THE COPS YOU VULTURES!" I screeched before slamming the door shut once again.

By the time I had locked all four locks on my door Jack had already found the rum Josie had bought for him and was well on his way to drunken bliss. I sighed in relief, hopefully he would forget about the ex-boyfriend comment. Josie walked up to me as William looked at us confused.

"It's almost six Liss. Maybe we should turn on the news." I nodded in agreement. The sooner I knew what I was up against the better I could counter the situation.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Sitting around the T.V. Josie and I were fixated waiting for the news to start. We were very busy chowing down on our pizza and drinking our fair share of Corona. Jack and William were sitting behind us on the couch. William was surprised he had to eat the pizza with his hands, and I'm sure Jack wouldn't have had it any other way.

"I think I may just plea ignorance." I said sadly as the opening theme of Channel 10 came on.

"That's not a far plea." Jack snickered behind me. I gave him a piercing glare. These guys seemed pretty calm considering all the crazy shit of the future. Well, undead pirates prepares you for anything I guess.

"Quiet! It's starting!" Josie shushed as we saw the beaming news casters. Evil bastards.

: Tonight on Channel 10 we have a very special edition for you lucky viewers!: That's right Judith! Now we have all seen the Pirates of the Caribbean Phenomenon that has swept over the world. We have had reports that the lead suspect in this story, Alissa Duke, has returned to San Diego!: Many teenagers at a local market had witnessed her apparently squabbling with cast member Johnny Depp. We go now to Rosalina Owens live on the scene. : Thanks Bob, Judith. It was reported that here at around four p.m. Alissa pulled into this market letting cast member Johnny Depp out of her trunk. This young lady here, Marcia Gonzales, saw the whole thing. Can you tell us what happened? 

And of course there was the teenager that had looked me straight in the eye earlier today. Her friends were behind her giving peace signs to the camera and mouthing 'hi mom'.

: Like, when she pulled up, like, she let Johnny Depp out of her car, and then, like, kicked him in the shin! Like, I was like, Oh my god! Right? And like, then there was like Orlando Bloom in her car, like, but they were like totally dressed in their costumes still, like I totally got a picture of them, on like my cool new krazr! 

They cut scene to a few choice photographs of the two men and I. She got one of me actually kicking Jack. Then William in the car looking terrified. And another one of me crawling into my car Jack's hands firmly placed on my arse.

: There you have it Judith. Proof that the two Pirates of the Caribbean stars and the new mystery girl are back here in San Diego. From out here into the field to back into the studio, have a good night folks!: Thanks Rosalina. Well, it looks like that isn't the only proof we have tonight!: That's right Judith, coming to us live from the house of Alissa herself is our field man, Robert Orson. Robert.: Thanks Bob! Well, we have been stationed outside her house for the past three hours! We have gotten some shots, only Channel 10 can bring you. Take a look! 

I dreaded what I was going to see. Both Jack and William were obviously confused. Jack peeked out the window to see the man in my driveway on the T.V. at the same time.

"Bloody future." Jack said grumbling. I ignored him as I watched what was going on in front of me.

They rolled a clip of me at the front door, Jack peeking over my shoulder. My mouth swung open and I slammed the door.

Next clip was through the window to a very wet and scantly clad William. I turned to look at William to see how he would take this, his face became very red, and Josie got a Cheshire cat grin about her face.

I groaned when I saw the next clip. Me flinging the door open, shaking my fist at the news casters and screaming: "GET OFF MY LAWN BEFORE I CALL THE COPS YOU VULTURES!"

: Seems like she is a little hostile. : Well that is no news. If you are familiar with the foreign music scene you would recall her-- 

I shut the T.V off hastily. All three looked at me confused. Josie looked up at me like I was an alien.

"What was he going to say?" Josie questioned. I shook my head and waved my hand like it was not a big deal.

"Oh you know newscasters, they stretch a story as far as it would go, more lies…" I said shakily.

"I think there is something more." Jack said slyly. I looked at him my face getting flush. Thankfully the phone rang. I walked over the wall mount and picked it up.

"H-hello?" I said not sure of who I would get.

"Alissa! Sweetie, are you okay?" I heard Cameron's calm voice come over the line a little fuzzy.

"Cameron?" I asked questionably. Why would my landlady call me?

"Yes, it's me! I just landed here in Hong Kong, honey, you're all over the news here! Our house is famous! Not that it is a good thing, but, fzzt-kssht…"

"Cameron? You there? Hello?" I asked straining to hear her.

"Fzzt, yes! Sorry I can't be there, but there is a big deal going down here. I'm glad you are finally home! I let Josie in, I hope you don't mind."  
"No, it's okay, thanks." I replied.

"Listen, I already got my law firm working on your case. Fzzt-kssht… I won't let any legal action be taken against you!" she said over the fuzz.

"Legal action? Did I do something wrong?" I asked getting frantic.

"Not exactly, but you have to meet with Brendan my assistant. Tell him everything so we can work on your case." she said. I went numb.

"What case?" I asked shakily. By this time my mannerisms were giving me away to the other three who looked at me questionably.

"Nothing has been brought up yet, but I'm guessing something will soon. You can't mystically appear on every DVD of Pirates of the Caribbean in the world and have people not ask questions."

"I guess…"

"We will arrange a press conference when I get back in three days. Fzzt-kssht… Be careful, don't do anything stupid! And for god sakes keep those vultures off my begonias! Haha fzzt-kssht….click."

I slowly hung up the phone. I said it once kids, and I'll say it again. Karma's a bitch, and she hates me.

End the first chapter of _The Three-quel to: Car Trouble in Port Royal. _How did you like it? More Jack and Will to come, this was a get along chapter… you know, get along little doggy!! Well, I love Reviews, so please take thirty seconds to click that little blue button and let me know you liked it, loved it, hated it. Flames are invited! I'm not afraid to get burned, worse stuff could happen! Until Chapter Two!


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: DOPOTC!

A/N!

Hey everyone! More yummy sexy pirates in this chapter! Promise! Sorry if you got bored in the last chapter! Just remember to hit that blue button and review! Thanks so much!

End A/N!

Chapter Two: Late Night Jungle Fever and Exotic Pet Shops

"What was that?" Josie asked looking at me and my demur. I sighed and slumped my shoulders. After a phone call like that I had been crushed with the prospect of having this follow me the rest of my life. The last thing I wanted was more fame.

"Don't you know what kind of problems you two caused me by sneaking back?!" I exclaimed to the two. William looked hurt, Jack looked unfazed.

"After all the trouble ye caused me back in me time…I don't really care." Jack said tossing my attitude right back at me.

"Well you didn't have to worry about going to jail!" I exclaimed to Jack who had risen from his sitting position to argue with me.

"Yer bloody well right I didn't have to worry about GOING to jail. I was IN jail, TWICE!" Jack hollered.

"Three times if you count the time in the brig of the Pearl." William chimed in.

"Not helping!" I said to William who shrugged his shoulders and went back to being just a spectator in this argument.

"Don't yell at the whelp! He makes a bloody good point!" Jack reasoned a bit drunkenly.

"Well, Maybe if you weren't such a wretched Pirate Captain you might actually learn to keep your bloody arse out of jail!" I screeched. At this Jack's face twisted into what I took as rage. He stomped pass me to my door, and after fiddling with the locks for a moment continued stomping out the door.

"Wonder where he learned to do that?" William commented on Jack walking away from an argument.

"Funny." I said throwing William a look, "He sure as hell didn't learn it from me." I mumbled to myself as I stared at the door for a moment, "Well, I guess I better go get him before he ends up making an arse of himself on national television."

"Suppose so." Josie said nodding. I sighed and crept out the door ever vigilant for the news people. I was amazed at what I found. Nothing.

"Jack?!" I said in a yelling whisper, "JACK?" I heard a grunt off to my right. I peered into the darkness and there below me was Jack sulking in the shadows.

I clambered down the stairs not wanting to turn on the lights. Never show your weakness to the vultures. I groped about in the dark until my hand collided with something soft and angry.

"Bloody hell woman!" Jack exclaimed as I accidentally slapped his neck. I could barely make out his face, but I could tell he found my inability to see in the dark amusing.

"It's not my fault I'm not a forking cat Jack!" I said throwing my hands up in the air whacking his hat.

"Calm yeself lass." Jack said putting his hands on my shoulders, "I was thinkin' about staying mad at ye. But yer such a--"  
"Hup! Don't finish that sentence!" I said putting my hand up in the air, "I wanted to apologize anyway." I replied, "I didn't mean to hurt your feelings." at this I heard a scoff.

"Captain Jack Sparrow doesn't have feelings." Jack said. I sighed and pinched the bridge of my nose.

"Seriously, don't you ever get tired of talking about yourself in the third person?" Jack must have ignored this because he remained silent, "Well, I didn't mean to make you upset, flustered, vengeful, irritated, annoyed, hurt, saddened--"

"I get it lass." Jack said putting a finger under my chin to raise my head. I looked up at him, my eyes began to adjust to the darkness around us and I could see the look in his eyes.

He leaned forward, wrapping another arm around my waist pulling my body flush with his. His lips lingered near mine, then met with my cheek. Jack pulled back surprised that I had turned my head on him.

"Did I miss somethin'?" Jack asked giving me a very confused look. I placed my hands on his chest and pushed off a little so he would release me.

"Jack, tomorrow you are going back, and I have to get used to that idea. I think you should too." I said turning my head away from his face, I didn't want to see what my decision was doing to him.

"Aye, suppose yer right." Jack said, I felt his hand around my waist fall, I jerked my head back up to him and quirked an eyebrow, "Wha? I can't agree with ye?" Jack asked leaning back in his 'I'm Captain Jack Sparrow, savvy?' kind of way. I nodded and turned about to go back up to my house. I could hear the boot fall of Jack behind me.

I opened the door slowly and peered around. The noise hit me at once, Josie snoring. I rolled my eyes. I saw her fast asleep on my sofa, and William on the loveseat. It was odd to see them asleep so quickly, but I silently thanked the higher powers that be for the little gift. I closed the door behind us and locked the door.

"Ok, Jack you'll be sleeping…" I turned around and he was gone. I quirked an eyebrow and looked shiftily around the room. I crept down the hall way towards my room. I heard the squeak of my mattress springs, slowly I opened the door to see the pirate kicking off his boots and reclining on my queen sized -bed.

"Umm.. Jack? You do realize that is my bed…right?" I questioned creeping into my room.

"Aye." Jack nodded. I rolled my eyes and sighed.

"Fine, I'll be in the shower, when I get out, you better be out of my bed." I said squinting an eye at him threateningly. Jack's eyes were closed, all he did was wave his hand in an 'I don't care manner'. I sighed once more and trudged off to my bathroom. I closed the door behind me and took a good look at myself in the mirror for the first time in a two weeks.

"Oh, my, god." I mumbled to myself. My face was tanner than I've ever seen in my entire life, my arms and legs matched my face. I stripped off the shirt and pants I had taken from Jack, and even my bra. I let my eyes wander over my new body.

I had muscle tone I don't remember having, my abs were flexing and moving with my breathing, and my face looked thinner. My green eyes shone through my sun kissed blonde tresses.

Although none of this drew my attention away from the fact that my hair was greasy, my nails broken and dirty, and my teeth were in need of a good scrub down also. I turned the water on in my shower and tested it on my arm.

Slowly I stepped over the edge of the tub to stand under the steamy water. I let the water run down my tired body, all my muscles relaxed. Closing my eyes I let the water fall over my face as I washed away the Caribbean grime. I reached for the facial scrub, squeezing a bit into my palm. I began to apply it in small circular motions, such as they suggest on the bottle. Classic OCD.

Graceful as I am, eh hem, I got a tiny bit of the menthol concoction in my eye. Cursing to myself I began vigorously rinsing my eye. While my eyes were closed I had the uncanny feeling that someone was in the shower with me. I remembered this feeling from the first few showers I took after watching the Grudge, and I learned to ignore it but this time it was so prominent that I felt the need to open my eyes. Through the sudsy water I saw nothing, nobody in the shower with me.

Shaking my head to myself I went back to rinsing my eye. But the feeling hadn't vanished yet. I opened my one good eye at the moment and was about to squeal but a firm hand clasped over my mouth preventing such an outburst.

I calmed as I realized it was only Jack, but at the same time I began to panic. Captain Jack Sparrow was nude with me in my shower…I'm sure my mommy had taught me some sort of lesson about showering with pirate captains, if she did, I couldn't remember it.

"MMMFFFTH!" I muffled in protest as I saw Jack's wily grin shine at me.

"Now now lass, ye wanted me out o' yer bed, so here I am, out o' yer bed!" Jack reasoned. I squinted my eyes at him, thinking things that are too severe to put down in type.

Thankfully Jack released my mouth giving me the ability to talk once more. I sure as hell was going to use that ability, that is, until Jacks lips came crashing down on mine. It was the same scenario such as our first kiss, but this time there were no bubbles for cover.

I suppose I would have kicked him out, had it not been the fact that he needed a shower much more than I did.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

There had been many tiny excuses in the past month or so in which I could refuse Jack's advances. Such as: William being present, Elizabeth being present, Barbossa being present, Norrington being present, pretty much all of Port Royal being present, the Royal Navy being present, and then there was that little matter that all of the future had been watching my every movement.

But now and here there was nothing stopping us, and nothing did. After taking advantage of the situation once in the shower, we had moved to the bed to spend the rest of the night there not leaving until around nine in the morning when Josie burst in.

"Liss!" her voice was filled with urgency up until she saw Jack and I under the covers obviously nude. "Um, what's going on?" she questioned nervously trying to look everywhere but at the bed.

"Josie! What in the bloody hell is it?" I squeaked trying to get her to leave. She finally looked at me.

"It's just um, well…huh." Josie said curiously looking at the both of us, finally getting the bigger picture, "Liss, did you just have intercourse with a fictional pirate?"

"No, we 'ad sex." Jack answered for me, "Now if ye don't mind, we were about to do it again, so either bugger off or join in." Jack said. I elbowed him harshly in his rib cage to try and shut him up.

"Did a fictional pirate just invite me to a threesome?"

"Yes Josie I believe he did. Now what was so important for you to burst in my room?" I questioned trying to get back on track to her leaving.

"Oh! That there are three times as many newscasters here. Everyone except the people from Pope T.V are outside. And Brandon called and said he expects to meet with you at one o'clock sharp." Josie ranted in rapid succession.

"Is Univision here?" I asked hopefully.

"Yea, Univision and double vision." Josie said mockingly. I sneered and threw her a look but couldn't help but laugh.

"Oy lass, is she goin' to watch or what?" Jack asked finally breaking our chittering. I sighed and kicked Jack out of bed, he fell to the floor dragging the sheet with him. I motioned for Josie to leave and once she had left I got out of bed and headed to my closet.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I peered out of my living room window only to find that Josie had indeed been correct. There were so many newscasters outside it looked as if a Men's Warehouse had thrown up all over my lawn.

"Not good." I said to myself. William came up next to me to have a look.

"We could fight them off." he suggested, I just sighed.

"William that's not how we do things here in 2007." I explained slowly.

"Well it's about time ye started." Jack said behind me. I sighed once more, rolled my eyes, and looked at Josie.

"Any ideas?" I offered to her. She looked thoughtful before getting a broad grin.

"Do you think your phones are tapped?" Josie asked.

"What do you think this is? Prison Break? Just use the phone if you need it!" I said getting annoyed with everyone in my present company.

"Okay Okay!" Josie said defensively, "Anyway if this was Prison Break I would be Michael because of all the witty plans I have." Josie said gloatingly. I sighed once too many times and ushered her into my kitchen.

"Yea, and I would be Mahone because I'm so close to killing you right now!" I exclaimed once we were inside my kitchen, "So what is the plan?"

"I'm going to call them in on this one." Josie said picking up the phone. I stopped her hand midway to her ear.

"Them? Are you serious? That is your plan? Do you think it is safe?" I asked looking truthfully frightened.

"They are experts on this kind of stuff." Josie reasoned. I shook my head a little too fast, making myself dizzy, "What other choices do we have? They need to get back to their alternate universe, and you need to do damage control. I'm pretty sure the real Johnny and Orlando are not too please with everything that has been going on."

The more I thought about it the more she had a good point, I nodded and let her dial the number and put the phone to her ear. I crossed my fingers and prayed that things would turn out ok.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

We were all sitting silently in my living room a good half hour later, waiting for our would be saviors to arrive.

"Do you really think they are going to show?" I asked warily. Josie looked at me and sighed.

"Yes, I do believe they will, they said they would be here in thirty-two minutes." she replied.

"Thirty-two minutes? That precise aye." Jack said quirking an eyebrow.

"They are pretty punctual," I said to Jack, "Anyway how are they going to get in?" I questioned.

"Who exactly are _they_?" William asked looking at Josie and I. The second he finished his sentence there was a loud thud from the back room. All four of us jumped up from our seats, Jack drawing his pistol, and walked warily to the back room.

Before we could reach it two tall slightly built men jumped into our path.

"Ack!" Jack exclaimed pulling the trigger of his pistol. Both men looked very shocked and very frightened.

CLICK!…

CLICK!…

CLICK! CLICK! CLICK!

"Jack! Stop!" I exclaimed pushing his arm down and lowering his pistol, "Don't bother, I emptied the gun powder last night. It won't fire." I explained. Jack looked sadly at his pistol then angrily at me.

"Lass, ye be havin' no right to be touchin' me pistol." Jack said upset putting his pistol back into its holster.

"That's not what you said last night." Josie chortled. I gave her a sly look and squinted.

"Funny Josie, really, really funny." I heard one of the men clear his throat and shuffle in his place.

"Oh, sorry about that!" I said turning my attention back to the two new faces smiling at me.

"Who are you?" William asked stepping forward protectively.

"It's them!" Josie exclaimed.

"Who is them?" Jack asked.

"They are them." I answered as if it wasn't obvious.

"We are they!" the two piped in.

"You see, they are most defiantly them!" Josie finished.

"Ah yes, it all makes sense now." William said rolling his eyes.

"Sorry about that!" The one on the left said. He had hazel eyes, and was the skin tone of William, only a tad bit taller. His thick Irish accent came through immensely, "I'm Charlie!" He said jutting his hand out to William to shake.

"And I'm his twin brother Gary." Charlie's brother confessed following suit of his brother. He looked exactly the same as his brother, only a tad darker skin tone, and very light green eyes.

"Charlie! Gary! It's been too long." I said trying to sound as if it really had been too long. Truth be told, the brothers from an Irish mother always caused mischief in my life. They were responsible for me getting lost that day when I found myself in the POTC world.

"LISS!" They exclaimed in unison both making me into a Gary, Liss, Charlie sandwich. As I felt my ribs being crushed I caught the pure emotion of jealousy written all over Jacks face.

"You've been getting yourself into a bit of trouble we see." Charlie exclaimed looking down at my blushing face.

"Yea, give us the dirt on how you got the entire world to see that spoof you did." Gary said into my ear.

"Seriously, we want to do the same thing, only replacing those two red headed twins in Harry Potter." Charlie continued.

"We are way better looking, and way funnier than they are." Gary mused.

"Not to mention we want to be just as famous as you!" Charlie summed up.

I pulled away quickly as they both decided to attack Josie. I blushed even harder as Jack gave me a very interesting look. Once the twins deactivated and settled down they began to have realization dawn on them as they presumed, such as Josie did, that they were in the presence of Johnny Depp and Orlando Bloom.

Simultaneously the two dropped to their knees and started bowing, chanting 'We're not worthy' very Wayne's World-ish.

"Charlie! Gary! Get up and stop making fools of yourselves!" I said getting more and more annoyed by the second. They both looked at me confused before rising to their feet.

"No lass, let them continue, I rather liked it." Jack said giving a toothy gold grin.

"Gary, Charlie this is Jack Sparrow and William Turner." I explained, both looked at me as if I was insane. I braced myself and looked to Josie for sympathy. She only giggled.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

One hour until I had to meet with Brandon, Charlie and Gary finally believed us.

"Thanks a lot for those directions by the way." I seethed.

"What?! Second light after the fifth before the sixth, four rights, then a left." Charlie explained as if it was simple quantum physics.

"Oh, yes, it was that fourth right that got me." I said rolling my eyes.

"So how it be that ye know the lass?" Jack asked wrapping a protective arm around me.

"Don't even get them started on that story," Josie began.

"We go to the same college!" Charlie enlightened the room.

"Yea, she goes to be a woman's no-no doctor, I go to be a Mortician…" Gary continued.

"And I go to be an ER surgeon." Charlie finished.

"Ironic isn't it?" I said chortling.

"Oh yes." Jack said obviously not understanding anything we were saying.

"Well, how it happened…" Charlie started once more.

"We went into the OB/GYN lecture room hoping to see some fine…" Gary went on.

" naked women. We ended up sitting next to Liss in the lecture hall.."

"That was the only fine clothed woman we saw…"

" we ended up watching a video of a woman giving birth…"

"An overweight woman…"

"Legs wide apart…"

"She hadn't had the ability to shave since her third trimester started I would suppose…"

"Or seen the sun in a very long time…"

"Because the glare of the camera light was enough to blind a man…"

"If the horrific sight hadn't first that is…"

"Charlie! Gary!" I said slightly louder than I had hoped, "Really, is this necessary?"

"Sorry." They said in unison hanging their heads.

"Anyway, she was pregnant, not fat, and she's not supposed to shave, due to the risk of infection." I sighed, like it was obvious.

"I'm beginning to hate the future more and more." Jack said glancing at us four.

"The sentiments are shared." William whispered to Jack.

I glanced at the clock, I only had fourty-five minutes until I had to meet with Brandon, and it occurred to me we were no closer than we were an hour ago at getting these two pirates out of my house past the media.

"Okay, what is the plan Josie?" I asked looking at her. Both pirates looked at her in turn with the same expression on their faces as mine.

"This was the plan, calling tweedle dee and tweedle dum." Josie said motioning to the attractive Irish men.

"Damnit." I cursed under my breath, "I have to get these guys back to their time _today, _even if it means that I will be late to see Brandon." I concluded. Jack and William nodded along with me, up until I said today.

"Liss, as much as we don't like the future we would rather much enjoy, that is if you would have us…"  
"What the whelp is trying to say is that we are not ready to go back…yet…savvy?" Jack coaxed. I stared at him intently, before sighing.

"Fine, you can go to the meeting with me, but after that you two are going straight back to your world. Do we have and accord?" I questioned.

"Aye." both answered in unison. I sighed for what seemed like the millionth time that day and began thinking of a plan. Getting one I snapped my fingers in inspiration.

"I've got it! Charlie, Gary, have you two ever seen Lucky Number Sleven?" both of them nodded, "Do you recall the Kansas city shuffle?" both nodded once more, "Well that is what we are going to do!" I said in a stroke of pure genius.

"Please don't kill us!" they chimed backing away from me. I shook my head and began to explain.

"We dress you up as Will and Jack, and then Josie like me. You recall the song… _Everyone looks left and you go right, it's called the Kansas city shuffle… _you leave, they follow you, and Jack and Will come with me to the meeting." I know, I'm a genius.

"That is the stupidest thing I've ever heard." Jack said looking at me skeptically.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Ready you two?" Josie asked the twins as they were about to bolt to my car. Both nodded, the beads in Gary's hair jangling. All three of them opened the door cautiously and covering their faces ran out of the house down the stairs and to my car. I watched cautiously as they were ambushed by the media.

I turned about and looked at Jack and Will. It was amazing to see them in regular clothing. Both had on dark blue jeans with their boots. William sporting an American Eagle top in a maroon like color. A white zip up hoodie hung loosely around his frame.

Jack was wearing a black Flogging Molly shirt with a white longsleeve under, the sleeves of course scrunched up to his elbows. Of course they looked exactly like the twins except they were a tad more rugged. And Jack had dreds of course. I couldn't help think how handsome they both were.

"Ok, I think the coast is clear," I began, I peered out the window one last time, "Yea, it is, we have to take Josie's car. Hopefully Josie can lose them in the lunch hour traffic." I said hopeful.

"Let's just get a move on shall we?" Jack said rushing me out the door. William close behind.

"The future is a rather odd place." William commented.

"Well, I guess since I was born here I really don't think about it." I replied walking down the stairs to the car.

"But you seemed so comfortable in our time." William followed up.

"Well, yea, about that, see, that was because I study history." I lied. We began walking across the lawn to the car when a figure emerged from the trees to our left.

"Liss, It's so good to see you. I see you still stay in the company of the rich and famous." the smooth voice cooed. I couldn't help but cringe.

"Jason. You leech! You sold me out to the press!" I screeched.

"Liss, like you gave me any choice. I was only doing what was in my best interests." Jason confided. I clenched my teeth so hard my jaw became sore.

"Liss, who is this?" William questioned as both him and Jack stepped closer to me protectively.

"This is my exboyfriend Jason. He has a habit of making me look bad for publicity." I seethed.

"Ah, so this be yer exboyfriend." Jack said menaceing. Jack stepped forward and began to introduce himself, "Ello, I be Captain Jack Sparrow savvy? And she be _me _bonny lass now, so you can bugger off." Jack threatened his voice dipping in a threatening tone.

"I don't think I will be going anywhere just yet, I have some unfinished business with Liss here and I won't leave until it is settled." Jason replied unwavering.

"Then let me finish it for ye." Jack said pulling his arm back and swinging it widely at Jason's face, landing square in his cheek knocking him to the ground. My mouth stood agape as I watched Jack turn about in a very cool manner and swagger back to us.

"Shall we be leaving?" Jack said motioning to the car. I couldn't help but smile at Jack as we turned about.

"I guess Jason, all assholes get theirs in the end." I replied throwing a wave over to his slumped form.

End Chapter Two.

Well, hope you enjoyed it, I know I did. Send some comments my way, I know the first part is a bit lame, but it is due to get better, lots of twists and turns. Until next chapter, toodles!


End file.
